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A friend posted the song "Gravity" by Sarah Bareilles on my FB page today. It was a song that clearly depicted my life and the situation I was in at one point in time. With the opening chords of the song, I'm "forced" to stop, turn back and ponder at my journey thus far.
After more than 23 years walking down this road, I think I'm slowly getting a hang of things. I'm not saying I'm perfect and I've learnt everything I need to learn. No, I'm not. What I'm saying is that I'm slowly starting to feel comfortable with who I am and to love the life that God has carved out for me. My journey might not be as tragic as others’ but that doesn’t discount the fact that I have had a crazy, bumpy ride. But God has led me through many storms, guiding my every step and carrying me when I could walk no more. Now looking back, I see it so clearly and I thank Him for every hardship that I had to go through.
The sound of the strings fading out marks the end of the song, and I'm brought back to where I am today. Slowly, I take a deep breath, look around and soak it all in. My path is still the same but my surroundings are not like what they used to be. I’m a different person, at a different point in life, in a different country and with different people. But the storms are still there – finding a good home and car; trusting God with finances; how I struggled to fit in and find good friends; constantly reminding myself to surrender my future into God’s hands; and now believing for healing and a miracle in Mom’s life.
I take a deep breath once more, but this time with my eyes closed. I feel Him… I feel His strong arms surrounding me. I feel safe, secure and at ease. My Father is still with me and never once has He left my side. I take a moment to draw strength from Him because I know I’m going to need it. With a final squeeze, I pull away from my Father’s embrace. He holds out His hand and I take it. As I look ahead, I see the storm approaching.
I feel my Father’s grip on my hand tighten and I know it’s time to resume my journey. But at the same time, I feel gravity holding my feet down. What do I do? What should I do? The answer is as clear as day. I cling on to the Master’s hand, gather up all the strength that I have within me… and take the first step forward. And with that very step rooted in faith and determination, I know with all my heart, no matter how hard the winds blow… I will continue walking forward!
This week has been crazy much! Suddenly realized that there’s so much to do before I leave. It’s 2am, Sunday and I’m leaving on Monday at 1.40pm. In the middle of packing and I don’t know what to pack and what not to pack! Hahaha… =)
Finally feeling a bit more excited about this trip. Before this, I had too many things to do and to think about. One thing that I’m really looking forward to in this trip is getting to spend some time with God. He always feels much closer when I’m away from home. And this time I’ll be away for 7 weeks. So yea, am excited about that. It has been awhile since we’ve had time away from the norm and I really hope that we will have an awesome time together!
Nothing much has changed from my last post. Things are just as uncertain as they were before. Some doors have closed, which eliminates some of my worries. So that’s good. Right now, I’m travelling the road which I’ve chosen and I’m still waiting to see where it will lead me to. Waiting to discover my destination is rather scary, but I’m trying my very best to enjoy the journey and to grow as much as I can.
I think it’s safe to say that I love where I am right now. I feel more alive than I’ve been in the past 5 years! And my aim in the next 5 years: to remain in the center of God’s will. Coz I know that is the safest place to be in.
Into Your hands I commit again
All I am for You, Lord
You hold my world in the palm of Your hands
And I am Yours forever
I’ll walk with You wherever You go
Through tears and joy I’ll trust in You
And I will live in all of Your ways
And Your promises forever
Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You’re the reason that I live
The reason that I sing with all I am
So many things have been happening that I don’t even know where to start. One moment I’m dreading uni life and the next, I’ve already completed my degree! Now I’m working as music teacher and part-time clerk/receptionist at Klavier Music Centre.
Things have changed so much in my life. I’m happy now. Not that I wasn’t before. But somehow, I’m happy with the way things are right now. Sure, I miss uni, my lecturers and my friends. I miss the freedom I had being away from home! =P But all in all, I love the way things are right now. Being comfortable in my own skin, feeling more confident of myself, loving my job and the people I work with… I am happy!
But just as I’m beginning to get used to the current routine, it’s all gonna change in a week’s time! I’ll be 23, jobless, and on a long holiday in
If given a choice, I think I would prefer to let things remain the way they are right now. If you know me, you would know that I don’t like change very much. Plus, there are too many uncertainties involving my future. Too much to explain here, I guess. I know I should trust that God will take care of things. I know He will take care of me! But still, at times it feels like a bus comin towards you at full speed and there’s nothing u can do about it but stare >.<
I guess there is too much to say in just one post. Where I am right now kinda reminds me of the poem by Robert Frost.
THE ROAD NOT TRAVELED
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
Anyways, hopefully I’ll be back again sometime soon. Maybe I’ll have more time during my 2 months holiday in
Much much love,
Devotional by Holley Gerth
I wish I had a big red umbrella that would keep all the rain out of your life. I would hold it over your head and the drops would splash, splash and you would never even feel them.
But I don't have a big red umbrella...so I'll walk through the rain with you.
God doesn't intend for us to go through our storms alone. We all need our "foul weather friends" who will venture out into the weather with us.
There are two questions we must answer to not only survive but thrive through life's storms;
Who will walk through the rain with us? And will we let them?
Friends love through all kinds of weather. Proverbs 17:17 MSG
To my dear dear friends out there, I'll walk thru the rain with you... xoxo